Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace)

Was listening to this song this morning. Such a beautiful song. 

"Amazing grace, How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me.."

Yes, this lines. Like an arrow going through my heart. Oh God, I am eternally grateful. Thank you for saving a wretch like me. Though I've failed You thousands, even millions time, Your mercy remain in me. 

XOXO,

~Jmarlyn~

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Verification.Ver_6

This semester, I've been assigned as a setter for the Project Management's Assignment 1. Creating an assignment for the students is not an easy task for me. Before we release it, the assessment have to undergo few stages where it will go to the Verifier, Head of Department, Second Head of Department and last but not least is the Moderator (normally the MOE). I'm in the second stages right now and I came out with SIX (6) versions already. Amendments, amendments and amendments. Let's pray for an approval. Hard work will pay off. I believe and have faith on it! 

Enjoy your weekend fellas~

IVF, MIC

Ver_6

XOXO,
-Jmarlyn-

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Commitment to dearest mankind. Duh~

Starting my day by listing down my to-do-list. And I started to think how I'm gonna survive my weekend. T.T

Oh common juj~

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Source: Google

Though I've explained everything, the action is still the same. Never take me for granted. I guess being drowned in my own busyness is the only solution at the moment. 

#vain

Just a random talk. Goodnight everyone. 

xoxo,

~jmarlyn~

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Even When It Hurts(Praise Song) - Hillsong United

Psalm 69: 29-32

"But I am poor and sorrowful; Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high. I will praise the name of God with a song, And will magnify Him with thanksgiving. This also shall please the LORD better than ox and bull, Which has horns and hooves. The humble shall see this and be glad; And you who seek God, your hearts shall live"

Amen.

This song felt just near my heart tonight. Reflecting back all things that I've been through, I always realized that without God, I won't be here. Without Him, I won't get through it and I am eternally grateful. Taya Smith said, it is easier to praise God when everything was alright, like you are on the top of the  mountain, but when the circumstances is vice versa it was a sacrifice to praise God. But that's our prayer actually. No matter what your situation is right now, praise God. Even when it hurts. 

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in Your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I'll praise You
Even when I have no song
I'll praise You
Even when it's hard to find the words
Louder then I'll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I'll praise You
Even when it hurts like hell
I'll praise You
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I'll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

And my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Even when the morning comes
I'll praise You
Even when the fight is won
I'll praise You
Even when my time on earth is done
Louder then I'll sing your praise

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To-read-list

All I want for Christmas is these books. Thank you. Haha

#GoodReads #ChristmasWish

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2015 Halloween Party! (Late-Post)

Well, well, first week of November is gone. 3 more weeks to go then we'll enter my favorite month of the year. Hello everyone, how's life? Hoping that everything was good. So, here's the story, I've joined Crossfit here in Brunei about 6 months ago, by joining this it allows me to mingle with the new community among Crossfit members which is very good. They always have this gathering outside of the box (gym) just to strengthen the bond between us and we'll be able to get to know each other more. 

Last Saturday I think I've mentioned it in my blog that I'll be attending my first ever Halloween Party! And yes, so much fun. Rather than emphasizing the 'Halloween', it is actually more on gathering, costume party and farewell party to one of the coaches in Berakas Box. The themed foods and deserts were all nice, the games were so much fun. Thanks to the Mogards for hosting the party. 

So here's some photos during that night. Guess what my character is? Haha

Group photo. Sick! Haha

Before the Group Photo. Squeeze everyone!

Okay we have Female Ghost from the 50's, Mickey Mouse, Greece Princess, Minnie Mouse (Yeah, I know, not so Minnie), Sadness from Inside Out, A killer and A 'cereal' killer. Hahaha

Representative from JBox. Spotted Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift there!

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Out of order!

Holaaa~~~~

My brain is totally not working properly today. Like I'm out of order. I was sorting out my lessons plan for next week this morning, then I continued with the teaching materials. I was dealing with this topic "project manager vs team manager". After browsing through Mr. Google, checking it in 3 different e-books, I stopped. It's confusing, confusing and confusing. Dear Mr. Brain, please work properly after this. I've a veryyyyyy long to-do list this weekend. T.T

By the way, Happy Halloweens dear bloggers! Gonna have my first ever Halloween party tonight with the CF's members. Yippi!

xoxo,

~jmarlyn~

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They said think before you act, so that you won't regret it.

I am regretting on something. 

Running away is not my style.

The question is, how I'm gonna deal with this matter?

If only I am brave enough.

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Random Mumblings

Facts;

• What kind of people that do good to others but they have their hidden agenda in there, expecting that person will pay his/her kindness? Ridiculous. Itu tidak ikhlas nama dia k.
• We cannot expect people to be there for us 24 hours, 7 days per week. Physically. That is nonsense.
• We have this kind of person who's always blaming others for anythings. Dearest people of this kind of attitude, please once in a while check yourself up. Who knows that the 'anythings' that happened is all because of you. When you're pointing your index finger to other person, remember that the other 4 fingers are pointing on YOU. My primary teacher taught me that. Come on!
• We also have this kind of people whom their level of busybody-ness is very high. I suggest you to focus on your own life first k. Get a life please :)
• There's always people who doesn't act their age. Sometimes? Ok, acceptable. But most of the times. Oh no, that's totally burdensome. Kindly grow up.
• Okay, every family have their own ways on treating their kids. But please, please and please. Don't expect the other will treat you the same. Never. Inside your home and the outside world is totally a different league.

.................to be continue................

Back off negative vibes. 

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Only hate the road when you're missin' home.. -unknown

Taken using my Vivo y15 smartphones

Took the photo above few days ago. My friend and I went to Brunei International Airport to fetch our friend who's coming back from KK. While we're waiting at the arrival hall and the photo above was my front view at the moment, my mind was actively thinking about lot of things. I suddenly remembered the 'smile game' that was mentioned in the devotional article that I've read last week. The game is as simple as you just have to count how many people smile on that day. And having that in my mind, I watched and analyzed the peoples' action and reaction while waiting and arriving. Some was traveling alone, some with their family or friends, some mother with their kids only, some carrying heavy luggage, some just freely walking with their backpacks. While the peoples' who was waiting, some was patiently standing up, some sitting back like me, some wondering around in front of the gate and so on. One thing for sure, their faces when they met their loved ones is costly and very precious. And I wondered if I've ever shown that kind of expression when I met my family at the airport. I think I did, Haha. 

Long story short, then I had my family in my mind. It was just about 2 weeks ago, I was at my hometown, spending my holiday with them and at the moment I am here again, due to my commitments to dearest mankind. *sigh* The airport reminded me of my own country, my hometown, my homechurch and remind me mostly the peoples that I love especially my family. I think people who's working far away from their family are dealing with this kind of issues. I have no idea on how to solve this matter. At this moment.

#missinghome #emptiness

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Ambivert

Pic courtesy of Google.

Ambivert. Never heard of this word before until today. Showed that how poor my vocabulary is. Well, never mind. I've learned about extrovert and introvert before and somehow due to certain circumstances I end up taking a personality quiz. I want to know I fall in which category. Answered 10 multiple choice questions and clicked the result button. Then, this word "Ambivert" came out and I'm like what in the earth are this word is? Haha. Thank God the website provide a description for it. But I didn't stop there, continued my research by Google-ing it. Well, Google is everyone's' best friend. So basically this ambivert person is in the middle of extrovert and introvert. They got both characteristic of extrovert and introvert. The quiz result mentioned that "you'll see part of yourself in both". And yeah, I felt it, I mean I can see myself in it. And knowing this word answered so many questions regarding my personality because to be true, sometimes I can't even understand myself. Haha. I like to hangout with my friends, interacting with friends and strangers [socializing in a good way] but then in a second I like staying at home and just having my own 'me-time'. This situation is one of the example and it makes me wondered about the consistency within me. But no worries,  now I got my answer. *wink wink

So, how's life everyone? Well mine, some days are full with laughter and joy and some days just full with tears and grieve. But that is life people. I'm grateful because I know I'll never walk alone. My rock and salvation is with me. 

XOXO,

jmarlyn :)

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Expectancy

Updating my blog live from the office. Haha. I am in the midst of marking my students assignment but I sneak out here for a few minutes just to let go things that bothering my heart. It's been a while but still my heart is not at ease, forgiving? Yes but I think I have to voice it out then I'll be okay. Hope so. Because not all things we can voice out orally, that is why I prefer writing it here.  

According to Oxford Dictionary, expectancy is "the state of thinking or hoping that something, especially something good, will happen". I don't really expect more from others but sometimes or most of the times, yes I am. Why is that happening? I don't understand until I found the quote below. It hit straight through my heart. "We would be willing to do that much for them", I am willing to do that much for you.

Based on my experiences, this expectancy mostly will lead to disappointment and frustration. Not all but mostly. Because of the 'willingness', still I do expect and end up feeling miserable like this. I have to remind myself over and over that not everyone have the same heart as mine. I have this kind of mindset that even how bad people are, the kindness still exist within them, even just a little. Rubbish right? Haha. I also can't understand myself sometimes.

Another lesson learned, as time flies by, people will show their own colors of life. Who they really are. *smirk* But thinking it positively (untuk menyenangkan hati gue), this expectancy failure once again remind me to work hard independently and just enjoy. 

Be free dear heart.

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Let the song talk~

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

#laurastory

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Mumble

Hello everyone. We meet again. Feel so miserable right now and end up updating my blog. After 8 months standing in this position, I can feel the tension build within me. I am a human too and I am just 24y.o to deal with all this stuff. Technically speaking, I am still 23 y.o tho. 

Being a lecturer, it is a blessing tho. I love being one since it is one of my dream job. The thing is, the unhealthy environment at workplace. I cannot understand why such negative vibes people exist. Keep on gossiping and spreading it like they have no other things to do. And I am one of the victim even saya duduk diam-diam saja tidak kacau hidup dorang. But it is okay tho, people will only gossip things that is and always be #hotstuff *kiap2 macam mean girls HAHAHA. Even they are being like that, when it comes to work, I still treat them like as usual, tolerating with them, be professional orang bilang. But they didn't, goshh where is your professionalism and maturity? You guys are even wayyyyy too much older than me. To the haters and gossipers out there, just get a life please. Pesanan ikhlas daripada saya.

Next will be the students issues. The range of age of my students is around 18-30 years old. Means some of them are younger than me and some of them are older than me. Their issues wouldn't have full stop, every week different issues came out and I have to stand in the middle to help them settle it out. I have to be fair, that is the deal and it is so hard. Sometimes I feel like they are abusing my quality me time especially during weekend. Keep on text-ing me regarding college's stuff. It can be annoying sometimes but I realize that it was my responsibility tho. Still love them because if it wasn't them, I won't be here.

"Tough times don't last, Tough people do!"

Looking forward the 3rd week of May. Till' then, Te amo :)

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My Baby Brothers

From left; Jico, Joshua, John Calvin

Few days ago, my mom Whatsapp me this picture. My baby brothers, few years ago, I can't remember the exact year this picture was taken. Sooooo cute and adorable. Haha. Gosh, I miss them, I miss my family.
This week was a very dynamic week for me. So many unexpected things happened in the same time-work, students, personal, friends. But I am grateful for the sermon last week, "The Battle is the Lord". Ps. Rommel said, when you are in battle remember how great is your God. His great Name, Power and Love. Though most of the 'stuff' haven't settle yet, I put my faith into my awesome God knowing that He'll make a way.

Christmas Eve dinner last year

Back to the topic, my baby brothers, haha. They are growing so well, became taller than me, I miss them, I love them. End of topic XD

Till' then.

XOXO,
~jmarlyn~

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Reminiscing

Screenshot using my vivo Y15

The picture above was taken and posted in my Wechat at 20 Sept 2013. The good old days. I got this habit scrolling on all things that I've posted through my social network. And somehow tonight, while scrolling I stop at this one. This picture really captivated me. I love the view, captured using my old Samsung smartphone. And while looking at it some part of my heart froze. I still remembered very clearly the weather during that time, my feeling at that moment and the surrounding of course. I said there 'The end of degree's life'. It is indeed the end then. Super excited during that time. Excited on moving to the next phase of my life after accomplishing one of the goal that I've set :)

Reminiscing all this stuff remind me that I've been through a lot since that day. The ups and down of life, that is why some people said that life is like a roller-coaster. It is, was and always be. There is a time when I feel so upset cause my plan did not turned out as I wish it to be. There is always this menace that blocked my way. Sometime, I just want to give up and let things happen as it was meant to be but this small voices in my heart keep saying that 'You can do it, don't give up', 'You'll accomplish it'. I am grateful indeed that I have this kind of mindset, "Everything happened for a reason". And that's how I can get through it and keep smiling as always :)

Dear Lord, thank you for the strength.

Loves,

~JMarlyn~

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What if..

What if?

I'm dealing with so many 'what if'' question nowadays. 

• What if the perspective in my life has changed? 
• What if I am directing the focus of my life to another pathway? 
• What if my priority changed?
• What if I can't even contribute any more responsibilities toward it?
• What if this relationship preventing me growing as an individual?
• What if I want to move on?
• What if I can't lie to myself anymore?
• What if I want to live a peaceful life?
• What if I bought this thing?
• What if I stay like this?
• What if I want to stand by myself?
• What if I can't accomplish my goal?
• What if, What if and What if..

Trying to find the most accurate answers. Trying to figure out the best solution for each of this what if questions but in the end of the day I realized I can't. People will continue growing and so do I. Gosh, I need my motivation's book. 

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Moving On~

Greetings everyone!

Another year has passed. Simply grateful for all the blessings from above. Decided to spend some of my time on blogging this afternoon. It's a been a while. Since this is my first post of 2015, entitled my post as Moving On~, oh yeah. Haha. How's life people? Mine? So far so good and blessed all the time. Spend most of my time facing my beloved students nowadays. Full class schedule from Monday to Thursday. Tiring but it is matter of enjoying what you love to do. 

Lecturer. Never thought that I will become one during this age. To be honest since I was a little girl, I never really know what I want to be, my dad asked me to be an engineer since I was once a science student. So as usual, I just follow everything he said cause I am daddy's girl. Haha. But things don't turned out as we planned. Well, that's life people. I am sure everyone of us have encountered it before. I suddenly became an IT student after the Matriculation Program. Pursuing my study because again dad asked me to just do it. I don't want to continue it actually, why? I am frustrated cause I am going back to Labuan again and I am leaving the science stream. But then I realized, there is no point pursuing without a purpose. So I planned to be a teacher after I graduated, I am aiming for the KPLI (Kursus Perguruan Lepasan Ijazah). But then, the environment during Uni's day changed my goal again. Miss Chin is our programming lecturer, she's is so good, pretty and smart! I love the way she dressed, do her hairs and makeup, her shoes and so on. Then I have this crazy thought, I want to be a lecturer like her, so that I can wear those pretty things everyday. Hahaha. Lame, such a kiddos thought right. So, that is my plan back then. KPLI, pursue study then lecturer. It is either two, teacher or lecturer. Soon after that, in 2013, I graduated. And that is the moment I am searching my pathway of life, that is also when I heard rumors, no more KPLI, I want to pursue my study but I am struggling with my pointer. Losing track of my life huh~

But I put all my hope and faith to Him. Then, He opened the door. Mid 2014, my friend contacted me about a vacancy in Micronet International College, IT college here in Brunei. Send my resume, got phone interview, went to Brunei for another interview and demo teaching, being accepted, undergo training and now Praise the Lord I can wear all those pretty things everyday. It's been 4 months already, learned a lot and still have a long way to go. Still working hard to improve myself even more. But I enjoyed it, living my life to the fullest. I promised myself to give all my best since I've received the greatest gift and blessing from above. 

Never give up and never ever lose hope!

Lots of love,

~JMarlyn~

Some of my students :)

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