reaching for the sky.

i miss you :'(

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the truth.

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Facing the truth is the hardest part of it. I keep saying I'm okey, I'm okey. But the truth is I'm not okey!! I'm living like I'm in hell for this past few months. I smile, I laugh everyday but honestly, I'm dying inside. Yes, I already forgive'em but why its become much harder now. Feels like I've no one to depends on anymore. I'm tired.

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Its been a while. First week at school, so far everything goes on smoothly. New house, new room, new housemate, new roommate. But, emptiness, loneliness, that's what i feel. I'm missing home. Ok, enough crying. Since when i become this weak, i have no idea.

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ulcer.

Guess what? I am suffering a mouth ulcer for these couple of days.

It's painful!! Feels like dying. It so hard to talk, eat, and also to drink a water.

Why suddenly I got this ulcer? I have no idea at all.

And I also didn't have much time to go to clinic.

Can you imagine I went to the exam's hall yesterday along with this pain??

Sometimes I lost my focus on answering the questions because of this bloody ulcer.

Dear Mr.ulcer, I'm begging you, please go away from me :'(

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java,java,java

Its 3.15am.

I've been sitting here, in front of my table for 5-6 hours to settle down my homework----->JAVA

Yet, I failed to finish it all. I'm frustrated.

Dear Mr.Java, you are killing me softly. Seriously!

:'(

p/s-i miss home,i miss my family, i miss him, i miss survivors

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someone make me smile please?

Case 1:

Guys, have you ever feels like this before? 

When you say that you are really really sorry to someone,

you are asking for their forgiveness with whole-hearted but they don't believe you anymore? 

They said that you are not sincere enough.

It's painful right?

**************************************************************

Case 2:

Okey, you've give me the second chance. 

From the day I got this second chance, I was trying all my best to not ruining it.

You said that words cannot prove it, only action can.

So I build my own strength to prove it to you through my action.

But I guess that you didn't see my effort at all.

I just an ordinary people like anyone else but why your expectation to me is so so high.

When I said that I don't have the guts anymore, you said that I can. You have faith in me.

But why you keep judging me for the past mistakes that I've done?

How I am gonna move on if you keep doing that? 

Dear God, keep strengthen me in whatever this are.

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L.I.E

Do you guys have ever tell lies before this? I'm sure that all of us pernah kan..

What if the person you lie to know that you are lying to him/her? It make you feels guilty right..embarrassed..

I've lie to someone..and guess what? saya ketahuan.. Aigooooooooo.. I lie because I'm scared that the person will get mad of me if he/she know the truth. Pathetic. How coward I am to tell the truth! Dare to do but didn't dare to admit! I'm so angry with myself. If I just tell the truth, things will never happen like this.How selfish I am to just think for the sake of my own goodness only and ignore others feeling.

I'm stressed out of my assignments already and this thing make it even worse. I've learned my lesson. 

DO NOT TELL LIES AGAIN.

To that person..I am really sorry. I'll never lying to you again. Ever! I wish I could undo what I did. I know I hurt you. I'm really really sorry!

Dear God, forgive me for what I've done and help me to go through this.

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