10 Things I am Thankful For..

I received the bookmark above during the Women of Destiny conference at church a few months ago. Looking at how it looks like, I know that it was a handmade. But put aside of that cause what important most is the content, the Words spoken there. It reminds me to always be thankful :)

So 10 things I am thankful for today;

1. I am thankful for the fact that I am still breathing at this moment.
2. I am thankful for my family who have been my great pillar of strength.
3. I am thankful for having a special someone who can tolerate with me through my ridiculousness
4. I am thankful for my current job.
5. I am thankful for my car.
6. I am thankful for being able to workout through Crossfit.
7. I am thankful for my friends who have been one of my source of happiness.
8. I am thankful for being able to shop things that I wanted.
9. I am thankful for being able to eat lots of delicious food.
10. I am thankful for being me.


What do you thankful for today? :)

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October 2016

Dear Diary..

I missed my blogging time last month. Grr. So trying to keep up with it for this month. New semester has just began last week, they updated the timetable and hence every Monday afternoon I don't have any class. Yay!

So let's rewind what happened last month;

• College Orientation Day - They appointed me as one of the key person for this event tho I don't have any experiences being in this position before. I thanked God that it was over now, everything went well except for the few unavoidable errors. It was challenging and stressful as in the same time I need to finish my marking and submit the student's mark and every single time I'm counting days to get it done a.s.a.p, Being in this position, you can see the true colours for every single person  that was involved. Some were doing this task perfectly good and beyond satisfactory level but some..I don't know what to say lah~
• 5 days holiday only! - I was planning to take a 1 week break last month, I need to balik kampung as I had an important errand that need to be settle down but my holiday were not approved (my first time ever T.T) and I only being given a 5 days leave and were asked to take the leave not on the dates that I've planned. 100% my plan were being destroyed last month and I have to admit I was lost for a moment. But somehow, God made a way, everything, again went well tho my life were totally upside down during that time.
• Pre-engagement? - So basically, his parents+family came to meet my family back at kampung last month to discuss more about us and our future planning (this is the errand I'm talking about previously). Supposed to be, it's on 16 Sept but we have to move it earlier to 9 Sept with less than a week notice. All because of my leave disapproval, damn it. I was about to postpone the whole things.
• Farewell - Some of my colleagues has ended their journey with this college last month. Some were totally unpredictable. We're getting lesser. But I pray for the best for every single of you. 

Till then everyone. Stay safe.

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Never Give Up

Greetings everyone. Can't believe the month of August almost come to an end. Well, I'm grateful enough to spent time with this blog even just once in a month. It was more than enough. Today as usual, we're working half day on Saturday, came to the office and straight away working with my BTEC slides and around 11.00am I attended a meeting regarding the upcoming orientation week for the new intake this September. I left the office around 12.30pm and straight away went to Ricebowl for lunch, together with my friend, SanSan. Then, back to the staffhouse and laundry time it is. Weekend indeed is the time for it.

Well, yaa~ it's just a normal routine but deep in mind and heart I am calculating every single area of my life. I just done with my post-grad second semester exam last week and for sure I added another subject to be repeated which is really frustrating by the way. I really can't focus on my study due to my commitments toward my job. They keep on adding the commitments like we are a robot and the only thing they said was "Time Management". How cruel they are.  I really can't handle the stress and pressure, it took away my happiness and joy. So, I was planning to defer my study, it totally break my heart to came out with this decision but there's nothing much I can do. I discussed this matter with my dad, I mentioned to him that I can't focus on my study, I was all over the places handling my job day and night. Then my cool dad said, "It is okay for you to defer, study should be fun". His statement did convinced me more regarding this matter as I felt that it wasn't fun and exciting like before. I'm losing my grip. Even my loved one, did mentioned the same thing. He said our life is like the electric extension wire or the extension cord. Imagine we put all of our electrical appliances on it, it might blown up. There's a limit for it and the same theory were applied in our life. He was the one who had witnessed me being super stress and crazy, he know how extreme my grumpiness have been and probably that's why he agreed with my decision. I am totally hurt to came out with this decision, they did not forced me but I am the one who decides on it. Deferring it doesn't mean this is the end, no, exactly no. It might take time to finished this but one thing for sure I won't give up. So, when I will continue? Well, I planned to defer it just for a semester but I really don't know. Clueless. I leave this matter on God's hand.

Another thing is I am in the process of getting ready to enter the next stage of my life. I heard a lot from people to just enter that stage only when you are really ready, only when you are stable enough already, only when you've enough cash or money.. But one question is, when you will be ready? The nature of human beings are they never easily get satisfied with what they already have. They wants more and more and more. Enough cash? Money or the cash will never get enough. We will never get enough of it. So, enough with that kind of questions and mindset and just go through it. And that's what I'm gonna do.

So right now, I should focus on what in front of me. 100% commitment towards it. Slowly regaining my joy and happiness again. I will never give up. Great things take time. I can do all things through Him who give me strength. Amen.

Till then bloggers.

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Random Mumblings V3

"And all of a sudden I felt really tired. Like the world had drained me for everything that I had"

Such a perfect quote to describe this verbally indescribable feeling. I am really tired of everything.

On top of that, for those who are celebrating, SELAMAT HARI RAYA!! dearest bloggers. I reported back to work today after spending my one week holiday at kampung. Spent time with my friends, family and loved one. No matter if it's one day, one week, two weeks or 1 month, the holiday will never be enough. Be grateful and carpe diem diabilang tu! So, that's what I put on my mind in order to embrace the positive vibes. It's matter of vibes nowadays. Haha.

So, welcome back to reality. On my table, the files were stacked setinggi gunung kinabalu. Eh, over.. Haha. Not that high but it's a lot and good enough to add on the stress. Plus, I haven't submit my assignments yet and it passed the due date already. My goodness. I have this problem of setting myself a high expectation on 'everything' and end up stressing myself if I did not managed to reach it. Then, it will sparks my grumpiness. He even called me 'grump' nowadays *sigh*

One free slot this afternoon and I decided to update my blog. The students were still on holiday mood and so do I. Post-holiday symptom. I need my enthusiasm back! 

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Life, It shall always not be good~

Not a great day to start off my week. I rested well during the weekend, get enough sleep but still not good enough to enthusiast me. Tired. Demotivated. I need some more rest I think,  the last time I took holiday that enabled me to chill at my hometown was back in February. 3 months ago. 

*****

Not enough with that. Personal relationship problems. I really can't tolerate with doubts, being accused for such a nonsense reason and false statement. Those actions remind me the old him which make me wonder, did he really changed for good or not? 

*****

Less than 2 days, we will say hello to June. Which indicates that, I have roughly one month left to get my assignments done. #studentsduty Both assignments were quite challenging because it's more on critical thinking and I have not started yet. But on top of that, June is the month of marking my student's assessment, submission of students progress report together with their e-portfolio and assessment development. T.T

*****

Budgetary. I created my personal cash flow forecast worth-ed 3 months ahead. It's my monthly routine actually but this time round I have to planned for more than a month. Why? Starting next month I have to fly back to KK, monthly basis due to various solid reasons. Anddddd the airplane tickets were freaking mahal! My goodness. BSB-BKI, operated by Royal Brunei Airlines only, so no choice. I need to pay all the bills, car loan and school fees. It's not that I can't afford it but I need to save money but how lah if like this *sigh*

*****

Today is the wedding day of my cousin a.k.a childhood friend. I'm so frustrated that I can't go home to join the celebration of their love. I missed their engagement ceremony and now I missed their wedding. Bounded to the commitment of work and plus 2 different country will never have exactly the same public holiday. It's a normal working day here~

*****

Just recently my physical condition getting weird. I woke up with a really bloated face, including my lips which rarely happened to me. My back acne suddenly attacking me again. I got 2 lines of eye-bag which I didn't even realized if my box's member did not mentioned it. Is it because of the stress of work? Stress of life? Too much thinking? Or is it because of the foods that I ate? I have no idea.

*****

It's not that when I wrote down everything here, when I voice out my endless complaints here it will solve the problem. No, not at all. But I just want to be real. I'm just a typical human being that faced this kind of situation also.

....and it shall always not bad, we only have to work hard. Be strong girl!

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